Its been more than a year since my last post. Now that I look back at my experience in japan I can tell that is shaped me greatly. For bad and for good. Well, mostly for good. It's enough to say that this will be the last post of this blog, my japanese it at an end, the insights won have been put to good use and my dialogue qith the void of the blogosphere makes no longer sense. I have greatly enjoyed reading my posts after so much time has passed, and I feel strangely proud of the individual I was back then and the path I took since my return from that wonderfully creepy island. Dear emptiness of the hyperweb, thank you for listening. 

Good bye and thank you for all the fish. 

The little warrior within you

Well, it seems that Kendo constantly gives me a push to think about what and who I am. On that thought I should rename this blog to "kendo diaries". 


Maybe some of you can relate to this with similar experiences, those that push our individual boundaries higher than they where before. It is so for me with this martial art that finally found me. I say found me because I am convinced that some teachings in life can only be achieved if you are ready for them, as the knowledge of some books tends to challenge their readers into giving up reading them, until after some appropriate amount of time passes and they feel the urge to pick challenge up for a second time.

Throughout my life I have tested many different martial arts, they have always had a rather strong pull on me generally speaking, and have found few to be of my liking. Some I did for several years, capoeira and tai-chi, others I just did until I found myself disappointed by them. In kendo I finally found a martial art I could commit myself to. 


I dont know if you have sensed this, probably not, as I am very reserved about my past, but I have a somewhat complicated demon embedded in my soul. It is the demon of anger and frustration. 
It was born over my school years out of the pain I had to endure being picked at by others. I was a puny little thin kid, that could not defend himself and was so naive and kind that he left himself open to attack most of the time. Every time I got hurt, I swallowed my anger. And with time it became a ball of flames compressed into my being. Whenever I was mad because of something, anything, a little of these flames burst out, an irrational white hot anger, that burned everything in its way. Bad shit, let me tell you. Until one day I vowed never to get angry again, because I had hurt a dear friend of mine, and myself in an outburst (crushed my left foot with a table, my friend got a chair thrown on his back). Since then I have been able to contain most of the fire inside me. It has not come out like that day again. But this containment has taken a great toll on my personality since I suppress nearly all of my flame related feelings. Excitement, passion, activity, annoyance, marvel, criticism. I have felt like an unlit candle for too long.  
Through Kendo I have started to learn how to safely channel my fiery insides to the exterior, using the right dosage I feel very well in balance, defeating much of the paralysing fear that has controlled a good portion of my life. The warrior within me is rising and finally taking over, to not only win by sword-hand but in full capacity of his wits. It is likely that most of you do not think of me as a warrior-like person, let me tell you that I am, and maybe, if the stars stand right, you will see the glow in my eyes the next time we meet. A warm, strong and inquisitive gaze that I have kept looking to the floor for too long.  
Today I have treated this blog as a diary I feel, I have poured a deeply rooted secret of my soul into these virtual lines. A diary is mainly a funnel for self reflection. A blog however is viewed by more than one. A diary is mostly kept in secret, a blog is pretty much a public message board. Why would someone write open to the public some of his best kept thoughts you might ask. Why not. I do not fear your sanction nor do I need it, since what I write is the objective truth of what I think and of who I am. I carry myself into the open, my head held up high, my feet steady in their stance, my hands hanging loosely to my sides knowing that whatever I encounter I will be able to handle.  

Work Discipline Happiness

Today I was asking myself why I made this blog. The reason behind it at first was to produce a viewable record of my travel to japan. But when I was not able to post any pictures ,due to an ongoing problem with my flickr account, I starter writing what I thought and what was happening at large in my life. I have started to like this kind of mute interaction, spilling my thoughts into a void, expecting no resonance, no reaction whatsoever. But what is the purpose of a conversation if there is no echo to it? None it seems. 
So, the riddle is for you to complete. 


The Sunday has come to mean a lot for me. It is the day when I train Kendo for 4 hours and return exhausted to my dorm room. It is the day where I think about everything that has occurred to me in the past week and draw conclusions. And it is the time I write on this blog of mine. 


I hope this aimless ranting is of your liking!

New year, new life

Hello everyone,
Some of you might know already, others may not even know the start of the story. When I decided to come to japan I planned to stay a year in the country of the rising sun. But things hardly always go as one plans them. Due to many reasons I decided to go back to germany to resume my studies there. My flight is scheduled for the 4th of march. I can say that I am mainly returning because that which I was seeking I found, and that which I was meant to learn here in Japan I learned. For further detail you will have to ask me in person.

Today I had a great Kendo training session. Since last wednesday I am allowed to wear the Men, helmet, and be part of the general class. As I train further the training gets increasingly harder. And I constantly am reminded of my limits. The funny thing about any kind of training is that at some point you will stop feeling that your limits are weighing you down, and if the training is good and its purpose clear to you, you will start pushing your limits further. And only then you may see how far your journey has brought you.

I have reached the point where I look back at what was my life before I decided to go to Japan. I evaluate what took place in the last 4 months and eagerly look forward at that which might await me, being content with what I have seen so far.

I can say that I am happy.

Last words of the year

I am in Osaka now. We have spent the last few days between the glowing glory of the brightly lit shopping streets and the grim but suspiciously cozy labyrinthine pathways of the lower class neighborhoods. It has been amazing to see such contrast in a land like Japan, but nowhere else it can be seen in such a clear and pristine way. Even the homeless have a dignified way of living, they neatly arrange their cardboard beds and go to the public bath to groom themselves in order to face the day with a well shaved chin. I did not see defeat in their eyes, I saw the will to live and the ability to do so in a proper way. 
Japan is an amazing place to be if you choose to do so. The way of doing things and thinking are so strikingly different from what I'm used to, and so difficult to put in words you cannot explain it by simply saying "thats just the Japanese way"  but as of now I have not come across better words to describe this country's people and their actions. Maybe at a later point in time I will be able to verbalize it better. 
As the clock ticks away the time and the new year creeps nearer I was thinking of writing a bit about what this journey has brought me up to this point. I can say Japan has changed me and is still changing me in many ways. What changes these are and how they took place I rather not write over the internet, if any of you want to know the details, just ask me in real life. 
But I can give you some general pointers. I think one of the main changes I am experiencing is an eagerness to communicate my thoughts, over this blog you have before you and verbally to those around me. I have always had a hard time expressing myself clearly, most of you have asked me for a second go at explaining what I just said in a conversation, so I kept my thoughts to myself. But this action has numbed my tongue over the years, and this should not be a lingering condition, so I will be trying to speak more often than not. 
I wish you all an amazing run into the new year and a happy start at whatever you chose as a new years resolution. 
Raising a glass in your memory, 


your truly, 


Pachi

Sorry for the delay

One month since my last Post. I am very sorry about leaving you hanging. I still have problems with my Flickr account, so there will be no high resolution pictures in a foreseeable future. Please be patient, as soon as everything runs as it was there will be a massive Post. I havent stopped taking pictures, so theres a month worth of photographic material to be shown !

I have been practicing kendo for about two months now. It is japanese sword fighting.  Today I got my do, the breastplate. I have been trying so hard to do everything my kendo teachers tell me to do, and they demand perfection. It has been a great challenge up to now, and I hope I can live up to it. Nonetheless, it makes me happy to be able of facing a challenge like this, on my own and without help, and succeed.

Asian Cosplay Idol Fukuoka !!!

On Saturday I bought a new zoom optic for my Pentax, pretty cheap and of good quality. These are some of the first results of it. 

And on Sunday we went to a Cosplay event in downtown Fukuoka. There was much to see.

First and third place in the singing contest

she got second place